


The Elephant (Sized Dog) in the Room

by intellexual_asexual



Series: Ego Short Stories [16]
Category: Jacksepticeye Power Hour (Web Series), Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, also fucking finally my brain decided to start working again kjfdhgksj, and diva uwu, enjoy this fluffy fic while i think of more blank angst kjfdksl, no beta we die like actor mark, oop i almost forgot my beta tag lfdkjlj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29223102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intellexual_asexual/pseuds/intellexual_asexual
Summary: Dark lets his aura get out of control again... over at the Septics'.
Series: Ego Short Stories [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106381
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	The Elephant (Sized Dog) in the Room

**Author's Note:**

> WHOOOOO HOOOOOO YEAH BA-BY!!!! my brain decided to FUCKING work again so here's an actual story!!!!! Enjoy!

Darkiplier doesn’t visit the Septic residence often. He usually sends one of his siblings over, or he sends off a letter to whichever Septic he needed to talk to. But today he had a very valid reason for going over there.

His hair had turned lime green. As if that wasn’t obvious enough as to who tampered with Dark’s shampoo, all of his suits had turned from black to green, as well as literally every other item of clothing Dark had.

So Dark poofed into the Septics’ living room as angry as he could be, decked in green like it was Saint Patrick’s Day. Marvin the Magnificent was sitting cross-legged on the couch, and he immediately clapped a hand to his mouth in an attempt to not laugh.

Marvin’s grin disappeared as Dark took one large step toward him and lifted him up by the shirt collar. “ **Which one of you did this?** ”

Dark’s aura was going haywire, and it knocked almost everything in the living room over. Marvin was terrified, and he felt sorry for whichever one of his brothers was stupid enough to pull this off. Marvin silently prayed that it wasn’t Robbie as he stuttered out, “I-I don’t kn-know!! B-But i-it wasn’t m-me!!”

Dark let go of Marvin and walked off toward the bedroom hallway, no doubt to try and terrorize another Septic. Marvin sighed, still shaking, and readjusted himself. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, two of his brothers give each other a high five in the kitchen. Marvin whipped around and glared in Antisepticeye and Chase Brody’s direction. Both of them were smiling.

Marvin stood up and approached them. “You’re lucky you two didn’t get beaten to a pulp. Were you hiding in there while I got yelled at?”

Anti’s grin grew bigger as he teased Marvin. “O̵̡̓’̶̡͂ ̶̹͝c̷͔͑o̶̳̍u̵̗͋r̴͓̃s̴̟͌e̶̘̋.̵͎͒ ̸̺T̷̝̾h̶̥̑è̴͇ ̸̩l̸͍̽i̶͑͜t̸̻̄t̶̨͒l̷͉ẹ̶͠ ̸̠̀ḳ̴̒i̸͍͑t̸̰̑ẗ̶̫ÿ̵̰ ̷͖͝c̸̟̓a̶͔̐t̶̗́ ̵̝̔ȁ̷͔f̷̠̄r̴̝̀a̷͓̕i̸̳͝d̶̓͜ ̷͔̅ŏ̴̙’̷͔̌ ̴̛̟D̴͍̽a̴͍͌r̴̹̊k̷͇̑i̸͇̽e̶̮̒?̷̭̒ ̵̳͒T̷̪̎h̷̳̀ȅ̶̥ ̶̖̃w̵̥̓ḭ̴̂ḋ̷͔d̷̫̑l̸̗͒e̷͙͠ ̸͌ͅp̸̧̈́u̵̮̐s̶̈ͅs̸͙͆y̷̬̓ ̷̢͌ẘ̷͓u̶͖s̵͕̄s̴̞̈y̸̳̓ ̵͚͝ş̴͛c̷̺͝å̵̗r̶̘̉e̴̜̒d̴̪͆ ̴̳͆o̴͍̾f̸͉͂ ̶͈͂a̷̘ ̷̱͘w̴̥̃ä̶̬ĺ̴̗k̷̙͂i̸͔͊n̸̰̿’̸͓̈ ̸̙̔b̵̧̃u̶͔̒s̷̹͑h̶̡̐?̸̮͐”

“ **What did you just say?** ”

Anti’s smile faltered for a second before he turned around to face Dark. Chase tried to sidestep away from the entity, but Dark quickly reached out and gripped Chase by the back of the head. His hat fell off as he winced.

Anti was still smiling (like an idiot, which he really was right now) as he said, “H̷̖͘e̴̟͝y̸̫̽a̵̩͗ ̶̢̿D̵̮͊a̸̟̾r̸̡̊k̶̙͒i̶̲̅p̶̘͆ŏ̵̳o̷̯̽!̷̮͝ ̶͕̅L̵͖̈́o̶̝̓v̶̱̆ì̸̙ǹ̵̠’̴̙̾ ̶̳̇t̸͕͘ẖ̶͐e̸̩ ̴̘̓n̸̦͊e̸̯̽w̶͙͒ ̸͓̾l̶̟̓o̷̻̕ö̴̱k̷͕,̷̧̔ ̷͔͋Ị̶ ̷̗̓ț̷̌ḫ̶̊ĩ̴̪n̴͉̓k̸̡̄ ̵̖̎g̷͜r̶͈̕e̴͙̎e̴̬͆n̴̮͗ ̷̢͂s̶̛͜u̴̼̓i̸̗͠t̶̢s̶̩̚ ̸͙̍y̶a.̶͕͝”

Dark’s scowl only deepened. “ **Care to explain why you chose to do this?** ” 

Anti furrowed his eyebrows and pretended to think. He finally shrugged as he answered, “U̵̟͝-̸͓̅U̶̻̒h̴͖̔,̴͍̈́ ̸̙̒f̵̦͂o̴̗̓r̷̬̈́…̶̖̔ ̶̟̋f̷̝͆u̶̙̐n̴̝͠?̶̻͐”

Dark’s eyelid twitched as he attempted to remain civil. He turned his harch gaze from Anti to Chase as he asked, “ **And you?** ”

Chase grimaced and said, “U-Um, n-next question?”

This time Dark did let out a roar of rage as he let go of Chase and aimed his feelings at Anti. Marvin had to quickly retreat to the couch, as Anti had teleported away from Dark. 

Dark closed his eyes and let out a loud sigh, trying to remain civil. At the same time, his aura stopped creating wreckage and grouped together to form a massive black cloud. With a loud _pop!_ Dark’s aura transformed into… a dog.

The Septics in the room weren’t sure if they should feel afraid or blessed. The dog was rather large and might attack one of them given Dark’s previous state, but it was really cute and fluffy. Like, _really_ _really_ cute and fluffy.

Dark opened his eyes and sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Diva, not right now.”

‘Diva’ cocked their head curiously at Dark. They must not recognize him with his bright green attire. They stood up and walked over to him, sticking their big nose directly in his face. They sniffed him for a few seconds before licking his face and sitting back down. 

The grey dog seemed harmless, so Marvin (being free from Dark’s wrath, since he wasn’t the one to turn him into a head of lettuce) hesitantly approached the dog and held out his hand.

Dark frowned as ‘Diva’ licked Marvin’s hand and nosed it, obviously wanting to be pet. Marvin started petting the dog’s neck as he said, “So Dark, are you going to explain this, or…?”

Dark sighed again and replied, “This is Diva, my… dog. When my aura becomes out of my control, it likes to take this form and cause havoc.”

Marvin scoffed and continued petting the dog. “They’re not causing havoc! They’re too busy being adorable!”

At Marvin’s doggie voice, Diva started wagging their tail. One of the couches got knocked over and Marvin cringed as he said, “OK, maybe they can cause havoc.”

Anti took a step toward Diva to start petting them too, but they turned their head to him and growled. He backed up again and Dark gripped his shoulders.

Dark growled out, “ **Why don’t you come over and we can have a little… chat?** ”

Anti’s grin finally disappeared as Dark grabbed Chase again and the three of them went away in a puff of smoke. 

Dark left Diva at the Septics, though. And Marvin didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know what Diva needed. Did dogs made of smoke need to eat or use the bathroom? And where in the world would he find a dog bed big enough for them?

Marvin also had no idea how long Dark was going to leave them here. He honestly thought that Dark couldn’t do anything without his aura, but from what Dark said it’s basically an entire separate being from him. Marvin hoped that Diva would eventually just teleport back over to Dark as he started walking to the kitchen.

But Diva was following him, which he didn’t want because they were knocking over everything in their path. The Ipliers have high ceilings and wide hallways, but the Septic residence was just a regular sized house (well, as regular as it could be). Marvin walked back to the living room and tried getting Diva to sit down. They did, and Marvin then tried to get them to stay. Apparently Dark hadn’t taught Diva that command yet, since they followed Marvin back to the kitchen. He gave up on trying to get some breakfast uninterrupted, and he gave Diva a slice of bread to eat. 

After breakfast (and cleaning up the huge amounts of drool Diva produced), Marvin decided to try and dump Diva on someone else. He had much more important things to do besides dog sit, so he went to find one of his brothers. 

~ ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ ~

Jameson Jackson was all for having furry visitors in the house. But this seemed a bit excessive.

Diva was cute, yes, but sometimes bigger isn’t always better. Especially if the bigger animal keeps accidentally knocking over and slobbering on everything. This was the seventh time Jameson had to pick up the same animal statue in the hallway, and the fifth time that he had to take his hat off and quickly wipe away the drool. At least Diva didn’t bark.

Jameson wasn’t angry at Marvin for passing over the big dog, though. He understood that Marvin had other things to attend to, like re-organizing and re-vacuuming the living room (how had Diva managed to shed that much? They were made of smoke, for God’s sake!).

Jameson led Diva to the only safe room in the house for them, which was Robbie the Zombie’s specialty room. He wouldn’t mind a big fluffy dog being in there, right?

Jameson opened the door gently and found that Robbie was already in there, drawing something on a piece of paper. Jameson raised his eyebrows and signed, _Oh! Sorry Robbie, I’ll go somewhere else._

Robbie slowly shook his head and gestured for Jameson to come in. Diva trampled in behind him, and Robbie’s eyes widened as he grinned and moved toward them.

Diva sniffed the top of Robbie’s head as he pet their neck, and he giggled as Diva started licking his hair. Jameson smiled at the adorable scene before him.

Robbie looked back at Jameson with one eyebrow raised, asking the silent question of where the dog came from as they continued “cleaning” Robbie.

_Apparently Dark got a new pet. Their name is Diva._

That was all that Marvin had told Jameson. He wasn’t exactly sure if Diva was a part of Dark or some manifestation of his powers, but Marvin hadn’t specified anything.

Robbie smiled even wider as he tried out the dog’s name. “Di-iva-a.”

Diva stopped licking Robbie, leaving their tongue sticking out as they cocked their head and wagged their tail. Robbie giggled again as Diva started licking Robbie again, this time a little more excitedly.

Jameson tapped Robbie on the shoulder after a few more minutes to gain his attention. Robbie turned to Jameson as he signed, _Do you want to help me watch them?_

Robbie nodded his head enthusiastically and hugged Diva. Diva’s tail wagged faster, and Jameson had to detach Robbie from them before they broke the purple table in the middle. Jameson pushed the table into a corner, as Diva flopped over onto their back and Robbie kneeled down to rub their belly. If this was all Diva wanted, then watching them would be an easy job.

~ ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ ~

Marvin had finally tidied up the living room again. The couch was returned to it’s upright position, everything had been put back where it was originally, and all of the mysterious fur had been sucked up. Marvin supposed he needed to find Diva and push them through a portal to the Ipliers, unless Dark was finished sending Anti and Chase through hell. Which he highly doubted.

It didn’t take Marvin too long to find the big grey dog, since he could hear their loud snores coming from Robbie’s specialty room. If Diva was asleep, though, where was Jameson? Hadn’t Marvin asked him to keep a constant watch on the dog?

Marvin got his answer as he opened the door. Diva was curled up on the floor in the center and around Robbie, who was leaning against the dog. Jameson was also laying on the floor and against Diva, just on their back and not their stomach. All of them looked to be asleep.

Marvin shook his head and smiled, pulling out his phone to take a few pictures. He put it away and decided that a little catnap of his own wouldn’t hurt him. 

Marvin shifted into a cat and padded up to Diva’s nose. He batted it lightly and it twitched twice before Diva opened their eyes. At the sight of the cat, Diva raised their head and started growling, but stopped once Marvin rubbed his head against Robbie’s arm. 

Diva snorted and narrowed their eyes as Marvin climbed on top of them and kneaded the fur on the top of their head. He curled up there and Diva snorted again, obviously trying to tell him to get off. Marvin simply started purring as Diva put their head back down.

~ ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ ~

That was the sight that Dark walked into when he came back to retrieve his aura. After forcing Anti to reverse whatever crazy magic he performed and sending him and Chase to the shadow realm for a good four hours, he decided that they’d been terrorized enough and sent them back home. They immediately ran away from him and to their bedrooms, and Dark started the search for his dog. It only took Dark a few minutes, because Diva was snoring so loud that he could hear it from the kitchen.

He found that the door to Robbie’s specialty room was open, and that Diva was inside with Jameson, Robbie, and Marvin sleeping on them. Dark couldn’t help but smile slightly, it was too cute. He quietly whistled once and Diva immediately awoke and snapped their head up, almost throwing Marvin off of their head. Marvin was awake now, albeit unhappily, and he hissed and batted Diva’s head with his paw before he jumped off.

Diva’s tail started wagging at the sight of their owner, but once Dark said “Diva, time to go home,” it stopped and Diva huffed. Dark sighed too as Diva laid their head back down and pretended to be asleep again.

Marvin woke Robbie up by brushing his tail across his nose. Robbie sneezed and looked around, realizing that he must have fallen asleep. He saw Dark and waved, getting up from the floor and brushing the fur off of him (Dark did not know that Diva was capable of shedding that much, let alone at all).

Diva instantly stood up and rested their head on top of Robbie’s, causing Jameson to have a rude awakening. He sat up and rubbed his head, twisting around to see what was happening. He saw Dark and got up, signing, _So you got a dog?_

Dark said, “It was not my intention for you to meet them, but I suppose there’s no going back. My aura seems… attached to you all.”

Diva was definitely at least attached to Robbie, as he kept trying to move away and found that Diva would not lift their head from his.

“Diva, let’s go. _Now_.”

Diva growled slightly, stopping only because Robbie flinched. Diva huffed as they sat down, their head still on top of Robbie’s. Robbie looked to be getting tired of this as he said “He-ea-avy-y” and pushed Diva’s head off of him.

They whined and looked between them all with puppy dog eyes. Marvin (having shifted out of his cat form) patted Diva on the head and told them, “Maybe you can come over tomorrow, pup.”

Diva wagged their tail and looked at Dark, who sighed again and said, “Fine. If it makes them come home.”

Diva ran full sprint at Dark before turning back into smoke at the last second. Dark shook his head as his aura wrapped back around him, and he disappeared as it enveloped him completely. 

Jameson turned to Marvin and signed, _Do you think he’ll come back over tomorrow?_

“Absolutely not.”

Jameson silently snickered as Marvin shifted again and sauntered out as a cat. He turned back to Robbie since he tugged on his vest, and the zombie was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he grinned and asked Jameson a question.

“...we-e ge-et… do-og too-oo?”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I wrote this during Spanish III today. Another fun fact: one of my peer's birds apparently burned and died in a pot of baked beans yesterday. I'm not sure how true that is but I literally could not stop laughing at the image of a bird straight-up nosediving into some baked beans and not coming back up.  
> As always, make sure to leave a comment if you liked this work, and don't be afraid to request another! (now that my brain is unfried I'll actually be able to work on them jfhglfjsd)


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